The Haunting of Grady Farm – 2020

Dir: Matt Dickstein

Staring: Malia Miglino, Ben Kaplan, Shane Hartline, Jeremiah Burton, Amanda Sadia, Ali Roberts

Have you ever been watching Blair Witch and thought to yourself, “Hey what would this movie be like if we removed all of the creepiness, the likability of the characters, and any amount of decent writing”? Well look no further because The Haunting of Grady Farm answers all of those questions and more!

I really hate just shitting all over any sort of media without also bringing up its positives but this movie was just bad. It honestly had no redeeming qualities. The basic premise is 6 friends, I use that term loosely, are going to this farm land once owned by the Grady family. The family was supposedly plagued by supernatural beings and several disappearances have been connected to the property. It’s not an original plot but I have no problem with an idea being used over and over if it’s done well. Two of the friends film a TV show called Haunted America and they are featuring the Grady Farm on their show. Not at all a horrible idea for a movie.

Fairly early on in the movie we learn that the Grady family were supposedly being terrorized by the sluagh (pronounced sloo-ahh). The legend is that the youngest Grady boy burnt down a druidic village and, in turn, burnt down the oak trees that were sacred to the Druids. The sluagh were attached to the family because of this and were slowly being picked off one by one. Additionally anyone that went onto the property was also killed. They describe the sluagh as demon fairies and they would attach to a family that had committed some sort of great wrong and served as a form of punishment.

They are correct in that oak trees are sacred in Gaelic lore and it would be accurate to describe the sluagh as a type of fae, but that seems to be where their accuracy to the lore stops. The lore of the sluagh changes with the introduction of Christianity but there is still no evidence that I could find of them attaching to a specific person or family for any period of time. I did find one legend that said the sluagh could stalk you for a night but if you managed to get inside and hide until morning you were safe. The sluagh wouldn’t wait to come after you like the movie implies. Before Christianity, the sluagh were portrayed as winged fae creatures that fed on the souls of humans. They could take the form of black birds and shadows and to be taken by the sluagh was said to be worse than death itself. “Demon fairies”, while sounding very silly, is an accurate representation of the kid of havoc and fear the sluagh could wreak. After Christianity however, the lore of the sluagh changes and they were said to be the unforgiven dead. Those that had been once human that died sinners came back as sluagh. They were still said to feast on human souls but more so the souls of the dying. They would come from the west at nightfall and steal the soul of the dying before they received last rites. Everything I have read mentions them appearing in large packs and that is because in Irish Sluagh means “host” or “army”. Sluagh comes from “Sluagh na marbh” meaning ‘host/army of the dead’. There are also stories of the sluagh not always killing people. I read accounts of the sluagh snatching people from the ground and flying with them over vast lands and islands and returning them beaten and bruised days later. Sometimes they died from their injuries but they were delivered back alive nonetheless.

None of that tirade really had anything to do with the movie but I think the lore of the sluagh is really cool and there was no real reason for the director and writers to vary from an already very creepy legend.

This movie should also come with an epilepsy warning because for probably half the movie the camera does weird flashes and glitches that are very nauseating. I think they’re trying to imply that the existence of the sluagh messes with the electronics but that only applies to ghosts in most lore and legend. These “friends” spend the ENTIRE movie fighting. I mean all of it. If they hadn’t established they were old friends I would’ve thought they hated each other because it’s nonstop. Again, I think they’re implying that the fighting is because of the land and the sluagh but the fighting and bickering starts before they even arrive at Grady Farm. There’s fighting, sex, death, and a random guy with a shotgun. That’s about it. Normally I would try to end with something good or constructive but there isn’t much else to say. They managed to take a decent premise and make it exceptionally boring and predictable. If you’ve ever seen a horror movie before you can probably guess where a majority of this movie goes.

If you are familiar with the sluagh drop a line in the comment box because I would love to compare notes. Let me know what you think or if I left anything out.

Suspensefully yours,

Morticia